This blog post is part of the World Suicide Prevention Day blog tour organized by my friend Melanie. It originally appeared on MDE last year, but I wanted to share this information again since unfortunately, quite a few people have come across this post while seeking relief from suicidal thoughts due to financial stress and hardships. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit www.Suicide.org
Getting ahead financially is hard, especially when you feel like your situation is hopeless. This week is National Suicide Prevention Week and I wanted to get honest and real about one of the main reasons why people commit suicide – money problems and unemployment.
I’ve never felt suicidal about money problems before, but I have about other issues during a very dark time in my life and I went through some post-partum depression as well after I had my son. I know what it’s like…
To feel completely hopeless and feel like you have nowhere to turn.
To feel like you’re drowning and can’t breathe.
To feel like every day is the same.
To feel like you want to bury yourself in bed after your alarm goes off in the morning because you don’t have the strength to get up and face another day.
All of these feelings can wear you down and get unbearable, but let me tell you something.
Table of Contents
Suicide is NOT The Answer
Don’t commit suicide over debt or any other financial situation for that matter. Suicide is a permanent action. There is no turning back. It is NOT a fix or a solution. If you have student loan debt, most of it can’t even be forgiven even if you pass away.
If you have family, kids, friends etc., think about all that you would be leaving behind. I look at my son some days and I just can’t even translate the love I have for him into actual words. We both love each other deeply and I can’t even think about potentially leaving his side early if it is not in God’s plan.
My child is my main motivation to keep striving toward success. I’ve put up with bad jobs in the past and I’m currently battling with debt myself but he is my main motivation to keep hope alive. Over the years, my loved ones have continued to show me that when someone truly loves you, they don’t care about how much money you have or what you can offer them.
It also releases so much pressure from a financial standpoint.
There Is Life After Debt
Like I said, I’m not debt free yet and I’ve had debt since I became an adult, but I know there is life after debt and it is achievable. This is why killing yourself over debt or money problems is never the answer. I offer plenty of financial tips and advice on this site, but I know it doesn’t always apply to everyone.
I know that some of you are trying your absolute best, but there are situations you encounter that are beyond your control. Maybe you were saddled with 6 figures of student loan debt. Maybe you had a medical emergency that left you with an overwhelming amount of bills and the inability to work. Maybe you can’t afford to take care of your kids or go back to school.
No matter what your situation is, it’s important to have faith and understand that we all go through seasons in life. We have high points and we have low points. Sometimes the storm lasts longer than you would have hoped, but the key is to seek out help. If you are reading this or searched for help online and found this post, I want you to do abandon any suicidal thoughts and promise me that you’ll do a few things to get back on the right track.
1. Go to Suicide.org or call 1-800-273-8255
Suicide is never the answer and there is always a much better option to take as a solution to your money problems. First, you need to talk to someone and let all your frustration and built up anxiety out.
Then you need to seek out help. There are many survivors and inspirational people you can talk to on the suicide hotline that can help change your outlook on life.
2. Talk to Your Lenders
If you have debt and it’s starting to take a toll on your mental and physical health, let your lenders and creditors know and see if you can negotiate a deferment period to put your debt on hold temporarily or if they have any debt relief options to offer you like consolidation or refinancing. Refinancing can help lower your interest rate, but you need to look into the option carefully and talk to specific lenders to see if it will help your specific situation.
I know most medical debt does not have interest, but the constant bills and calls can be nerve racking so placing a call to your creditor can be a polite way to request that they ease up.
3. Consider Debt Management Counseling
Debt Management counseling can help you get back on the right track financially even if you are starting basically from scratch. Debt management counseling is different from debt settlement which are companies who charge high fees and promise they can help you get rid of your debts or boost your credit score. I find those companies to be based on illegitimate principles because they often encourage you to stop paying your creditors, pay a ton of fees, and they make false promises. You can read more about why it’s best to avoid these types of companies here.
On the contrary, you need to talk to someone who can help you create a budget and a plan to manage your debt and pay it off. Non-profit debt management agencies won’t charge you a penny and will help you learn about options you may qualify for like federal student loan relief programs for example.
To connect with a non-profit credit and debt counselor certified by the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, click here.
4. Exhaust Your Resources
Finally, if you are struggling to pay your bills and make ends meet, there are plenty of resources available to explore. I always recommend government assistance programs (AKA welfare) to people who are struggling with finding a job, paying for food, childcare, and medical care, or unable to secure housing.
When I couldn’t afford to pay for food or medical care 5 years ago, I swallowed my pride and signed up for government assistance programs and I was so grateful for the help because it helped me get where I am today.
Government assistance is divided by state and county so you must contact your local county office to fill out an application and see what benefits you can qualify for. I will caution that many government assistance programs have long waiting lists due to the high volume of applications they receive and the cases they accept so this may not be an instant relief option but it can come in handy when benefits kick in.
If you have a young child, WIC (Women, Infants, and Children), can provide food and nutritional assistance and applications are often processed at a faster rate than with other government programs.
You can also take advantage of private and free resources in your community. Many churches and organizations like Catholic Charities provide weekly community food pantries along with free clothes. If you are looking for employment opportunities, the Department of Labor has free Adult Training Programs for people who have been laid off.
You can also check to see if your area has a local extension office that provides free community resources and employment assistance.
Right after college, I signed up with Illinois WorkNet which is a free program that allowed me to prepare my resume, attend workshops, and meet with a caseworker regularly who sent me job leads and conducted mock interviews. There are tons of resources out there to consider instead of giving up hope and you just need the motivation to seek them out.
Don’t Give Up
We all have days where we feel defeated, but in the end, you can’t give up for good. Life is too precious and beautiful to give up on. Again, suicide is not the answer and it’s not a solution. Life is the answer. It may not be a perfect life, but it can be a debt free life where you find financial stability despite where you came from.
If you know anyone who may be battling depression or suicidal thoughts due to their financial situation, I hope you share this with them and encourage them to keep going.
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Jason @ TheButlerJournal.com says
It sucks that people think that the only option left is suicide. It’s not. There are people there that will help them.
Choncé says
So true!
Danilo says
You know, flat rent pending and every others bill pending and you don’t know how to pay them even you can’t able to tell them when you pay them because you’re earning now much less than your bill. You tried to sell your land but no customer available for buying. Now you’re with no money but you have to pay a big amount this month and every month. People who are respected you before if they know you’re out of money they will start laughing to you. I tried to suicide but i have 2 children. I am thinking about them. I am in serious problem now.
Now tell me what are you going to do. suicide or not.
Susan says
What if they are have a health issue that prevent them from working full-time and they did not work enough in their lifetime to be able to survive on disability. And they I have no money saved for retirement because they spent that money trying to recuperate their health via holistic means, because otherwise there is no cure.. .? ?? Is someone prepared to help with that?
alex says
who will no one ever comes around its just false hope
angelina says
no theres not. what aboout people like me who have no friends or family? like no one. no one to count on at all. no parents from birth no grandparents no supports. even see a counselor who patronizes me. it never get better it only gets worse. its easy to say this when you have supports and genuine kind friends. when you have no one and not even charities will help, becuase theyre religious hypcrites, then what? ive gone down all these roads. all people do is judge and condemn you . this world has no empathy and its cruel and awful. yes i can see my blessings..like running water and things like this i thank god for. but i dont think many get it when they have a support system and genuine kind people around them. what if you been abandoned and alone your whole life? especially when youre ill and disabled as well. your belly hurts from no food.becuase you cannot afford it. you been a victim of medical malpractice as well. theres no neighbors that wanna help either not even a stranger offers a kind word.youre weak tired and brokwn. you have faith in god and still youre struggling then the wolves condemn you.youve been responsible with every penny even sold everything you own to survive till theres nothing left to sell for a meal. have u been here? probably not huh.no one care wether you live or die thats the truth. its too easy to say theres solutions when youve tried and tried and still get denied and rejected. so the physcological mumbo jumbo gets old. truth is this world is full of greed. and unless you have a family or people who love you and can help you in times of need it makes it all the harder. just tired of explaining to many who dont get it.and never will.
Alex says
true. so how did you got out? you have access to internet to write this. so things not that bad
David Carlson says
Really important topic to address, Chonce, and I’m glad you made room for it on your blog. Debt is such a huge mountain to conquer I imagine many, many people end up depressed, even if they don’t show it. It’s important to know what resources are available, so thank you for sharing with everyone.
Choncé says
No problem and yes I agree this is such an important issue to address.
Kristine Smart says
I appreciated your blog; although I just discovered it now. I admit, I’ve made very foolish expenditures and it IS my fault. More education needs to be made and followed for the American youth. I love my country and we are family so I start there. No matter your background, or financial support from parents, eventually we all need to learn how to care and provide for ourselves before we even think about producing a child. I’m grateful there are help programs, but there has to be limits and penalties if people abuse the system. If your spending money foolishly to rack up debt, in the beginning and in the end, it is your own damn fault. Teach your children right from wrong, and to work for what they need–the basics. At the same time, no one is entitled to the over-priced luxuries entertainers and athletes possess. It’s a fictitious, fleeting lifestyle that the young aspire to be. I’m grateful you mentioned God. Going to church on a regular instills the fundamental principles of life and serving others instead of yourself. Humility and serving. God Bless you and your beautiful man-made Son. Love you All.💖Kristine
Choncé says
Thanks for the comment Kristine. You made lots of solid points. Financial education does need to improve/expand and it should be available to everyone.
Richard Kaup says
I’m nearly 60 & owe 85,000 – there’s no way I’ll ever be able to pay that off.
Choncé says
What type of debt do you have?
terri says
I know how you feel. I’ve suffered from depression nearly my whole life and used credit cards to pay for things to try to make myself happy–like travel, and gifts, and Christmas for families I don’t even know. Somewhere along the line, it got totally out of control. Last year, i fell into a major depressive episode that I can’t seem to crawl out of. The first thing I think of when I wake up is debt and the mess I’ve made. I’ve screwed up my life and my husband’s life. I can’t fix it, and I am totally responsible. The guilt is killing me.
Sam Gambora (@wekilishorts147) says
Terri, I hope things have worked out for you. I do understand how you’re feeling. Over a course of some years, I had built up about a million dollar stock trading account. Somehow in several years, not only did I lose all the money, I made stupid errors filing my taxes and owe low 5 figures. I am hand to mouth and can hardly pay the IRS a dime. I know I won’t go to jail, but at my age, now having no retirement plan and realizing how badly I’ve screwed up, I’m not sure how to go on. I’m looking into free counseling services and books that may help. So many people in my life could use financial help too, and I used to be able to help but never will be able to again. Add in the embarrassment and it’s just about killing me.
terri says
Thank you for your reply. Everything is about the same. Depression is still dogging me, and the debt is still there. I had to have emergency surgery earlier this year and missed a lot of work. That certainly didn’t help the situation. It just seems so hopeless. It wouldn’t be so bad if I felt there was a way to dig out.
Sam Gambora (@wekilishorts147) says
Hi Terri,
I’m truly sorry to hear you’re also still struggling. I, too, have given up on the financial side of things. There is no way I can dig out of this. The numbers just won’t work out for that. I have luckily been healthy (sorry to hear about your surgery- scary and I hope it went OK!) although I now have an ulcer. I’m unable to think about anything else and have to eat extremely bland food or I have pain and vomiting. The only thing I can think is relieving the uncertainty. I’m going to try to get the IRS to spell out for me in detail exactly what I owe and what my options are. If I have to file bankruptcy, or get on a payment plan that lasts the rest of my life, it still would be better than the uncertainty.
I have heard a lot of people have good luck talking to a not-for-profit debt counselor or even going to the unemployment office and asking for counseling referrals. I haven’t explored this myself as I think it’s different when you owe the IRS. Have you looked at this, maybe it would help? Hang in there!
terri says
now my house has been flooded by Hurricane Florence and I have lost just about all my belongings. I have flood insurance but there is no way it’s going to cover my losses. I’m suffocating.
Joseph says
I am in a situation were not able face my debts .I am 40yrs father of two children recently I lost my mom and I lost my job.i am into financial crisis please some one help and save me .now I am not able to face the money lenders I am getting a mind of committing suicide .please help me I have 2little children
Choncé says
Joseph, I’m sorry to hear about all the misfortunate events that have occured recently. Like I stated in this post, suicide or giving up is not the answer. See if you can talk to a credit /debtcounseling agency in your area. They are often free and can point you in the right direction in terms of developing a plan to pay off your debt along with some resources you may have helpful. If you have student loan debt, you may be able to pause your payments due to financial hardship. PLEASE think about your children as well. If you love them, you’ll want to see them grow up and be with them. I’m sure they love and cherish you regardless of the money issues and you owe it to them to stay strong. You can get through this!
Joseph says
I request if anyone can help my family. please save us by helping from my debts
Thirumal reddy says
Hi iam thirumal reddy from india, I have a money problem .. I have taken around 25000$ with my friends and relatives for intrust , now iam not able to pay that money now, iam an employee but all my salary goes for intrust only.. They are forcing me to give money back .. With out money i can’t face them, there is only option to me is suicide or giving money back to them.. I don’t have money right now, I am trying from all sources but I can’t find any solution
Chonce Maddox says
I’m sorry to hear your situation has taken a turn for the worst. The best thing you can do right now is not give up and focus on making some extra money. If all your income is going to paying back family, you need get a new skill or use your current skills to make extra money on the side for yourself. If you’re good with graphics, you can sell your servicers on Fiverr and make some extra money. This post also has tons of extra income ideas you can consider. Not all of them will apply to you but it should give you some ideas of what’s possible given your interests and availability – https://www.mydebtepiphany.com/80-extra-income-ideas-dont-suck/
Thirumal reddy says
Thank you for that, but don’t have that much time
Thirumal reddy says
I can’t explain you my situation, in India money is more valuable than any thing.. I can face them
Chonce Maddox says
It shouldn’t be. It’s not worth your life. You don’t need a lot of time to earn extra money. Thankfully tere are small and easy things you can do. Also, see if you can talk to someone who might understand. That will help. Wishing you all the best and for continued strength to get through this.
Jay Howard says
i was on here and all other different websites claiming to know how to pay off credit debts and all of that . I must say i tried all and they came out really awful, i was actually in the process of trying the last i thought would be really helpful but i got only a few changes in the debt. Then i met with a friend of mine who went through the same problem i was in and was a able to successfully pay it all of. I was introduced to a very reputable hacker and he hacked into the credit companies websites and cleared it all off. He cleared the debts on the family’s mortgage account all at a reasonable fee. Contact (BIRDEYE dot HACK at GMAIL dot COM). for any sort of account hacks without any traces or repercussion. I’m a happy man again….,.!!!
Frugal Millennial says
It breaks my heart that so many people are buried in debt and feel hopeless. Thank you for addressing this issue and providing helpful resources.
Choncé says
I feel the same. I want to help in any way that I can.
People-Lend says
Hey Chonce, Kudos for sharing this article!
I liked it very much 🙂
Xo
Manisha
https://people-lend.in/
Thembikire says
I am in this bad debt. I tried all I can but I have failed. I feel like not facing tomorrow.
Philip Rottman says
I’m out of hope, money and answers….
Dying Inside says
For the past several days, I have been going up and down the net to find some sort of relief with my depression. I would have to admit that everything I did in this life actually put me in hole that is killing me now from inside out. This could be my last few days, but for some reason I am still clinging to hope that I can find something else to grab on and slowly climb my way up. If people will hear my story as to why I end up where I end up where I am, I am pretty sure all I would get is judgement and I can’t blame them for it. I fully acknowledge and accept all responsibilities of my problem, of why I end up destitute and buried in debt. You know in this world where a good character is held high on the pedestal, my case would even be a laughing matter. I even thought so. The fact remains, however, that it isn’t the worth of my debt or the other reasons why I am so down now that matters, but the pain it cost to people around me, and more unto myself. I obviously can’t pay debts in a few days time because I do not even have a job. I submitted applications, but no success yet, When you’re 45 with no job and no money because of poor choices you’ve made throughout life, all you can think of is why the agony on holding to life when you have no future to look up to? I have been walking in circles actually. And I lost everywhere I go. SO now here I am at the end of my road just looking to the great beyond and hoping that perhaps some lightning will strike me dead. Chonce, thank you for your article. But ….I’m so tired already…
Alex says
you can steal something and get into prison. it’s free
Choncé says
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation and understand your frustration and feeling tired but I truly hope you don’t give up. Is there something stopping you from getting work? I know it’s easier said than done. Have you also looking into bankruptcy to discharge some of your debt?