The other day, I was talking with someone and they took shots at me by pointing out a small hole in the pants I was wearing. It was not revealing or anything and I was aware of it being there, but this person’s comment offended me quite a bit initially because I knew they were trying to create a narrative about me and my finances based on my clothes.
We all do this at one time or another and it’s common to pass judgment on someone based on their appearance (not saying it’s right though). After the initial shock of this comment wore off, I laughed a little to myself realizing that this person clearly had it all wrong about me and that I could care less if that was their opinion.
Honestly, I can’t be one of those people who say they don’t care at all about people’s opinion of them because I feel like that’s a false statement. We all care somewhat or else we wouldn’t try to be extra polite in public or dress presentably before we head out the door. We wouldn’t get embarrassed when talking with someone only to realize there was a piece of spinach our teeth the whole time.
We often care about other people’s perception of us and there’s nothing wrong with this. I certainly care, but only to some extent.
In terms of having holes in some of my clothes, I’m not the only one who is totally okay with it and I don’t care much about other people’s opinions or judgment on what I choose to wear.
So why am I writing this whole blog post then? I know this is different from what I usually post but I’ve always believed in being completely authentic and honest about my experiences on this site and I do believe there’s a financial lesson to be learned that could impact you and even change your outlook or increase your focus on your financial goals.
To elaborate on that lesson, I wanted to share 3 key reasons why I don’t care much about people’s opinions on me wearing clothes with holes in them.
I Clearly Care More About Saving and Investing
Over the past few years, my priorities have really shifted. I care less about buying clothes and material items and more about achieving financial freedom. While I could buy a ton of clothes and shoes every month, instead I choose to focus on debt payoff, saving and investing because that’s what makes me happy.
I created a vision for my life that involves me living on my own terms and not owing anyone money. This is why I paid off $30,000+ of debt in just under 3 years. This is why I’ve added thousands to my emergency savings fund so when unexpected expenses arise, I have the money on hand to handle them stress-free.
This is why I prioritize investing and set a goal to max out my retirement account next year. When I do want to treat myself or spend money on something fun, I do it as long as it aligns with my values. Right now, I’m pretty comfortable with the clothing I have and don’t really see any reason to get rid of wearable items that I love.
Related: Shopping Ban Update: 4 Months In
How My Husband and I Paid Off $14,354.81 of Debt in One Year
Reflections on Paying Off Student Loans
I LOVE Being Frugal
Second, it’s no secret that I loveeeeeeee being frugal. I became frugal out of necessity years ago because I really couldn’t afford to spend any extra money. Now, I’m frugal by choice because I absolutely love the lifestyle.
I try to focus on my values and avoid spending money on things that are unnecessary to me. I love getting deals, using coupons, and being creative with what I have. I enjoy shopping at thrift stores for my son’s school clothes. I see nothing wrong with my affordable prepaid cell phone from Republic Wireless.
I earn cash back on credit cards and by using free apps like Ebates and Swagbucks. I cook most of my meals at home because it means I don’t have to spend a fortune on mediocre restaurant food. I check my bank account daily and love budgeting to stay on track throughout the month. I understand that doesn’t sit well with some people who may think I’m super cheap or just plain broke, but oh well.
Related: How to Save Money in Almost Every Area of Your Life
How to Keep Your Entertainment Budget Frugal
I’m Not Defined By Clothes…Or Anything I Have
Finally, I’m not defined by what I wear. I used to feel that way though. I used to think that the fancier my clothes were, the more money people would think I have. I used to think that having designer purses and shoes would let people know that I was well off financially.
This picture below was from a few years ago. I was attending a fashion show in Chicago and remember going to the mall and spending well over $100 for that dress and shoes (and hardly ever wore it again). Looking back, it was silly to waste all that money because I didn’t really have it to spend.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about taking care of yourself, but I’m more interested in living my life instead of trying to show off for other people and give off a false impression. Sometimes my hair is a hot mess, I have acne and hardly wear makeup, and while I love my clothes, some of the items I have do have holes in them but I don’t define myself by any of these standards.
I also dislike when people define themselves and others based on what they do for a living when that is only a piece of their life.
I’d rather be defined by my unique characteristics and personality.
Don’t Let People’s Opinions Get In The Way of Your Financial Path
This is such an important lesson to learn on your financial journey.
Some people won’t understand why you do certain things and how you manage your money. They may form opinions about you that may or may not be true. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what other people think because when you get caught up in someone else’s opinion, you lose sight of your goals and vision for your life.
Then, you get caught up in pleasing someone else and making them feel happy and comfortable instead of doing that for yourself.
Last year, I was listening to Paula Pant’s podcast where she interviewed a man who retired early on a teacher’s salary. He was super frugal and did some outrageous things like riding his bike several miles to work all year round and eating a weird diet of only pasta and mussels he would get a deal on locally for protein.
During the podcast interview, he mentioned how back when he was working, one of his colleagues told him that she and the rest of the staff wanted to start a fund at the school for him to “help him out”. In other words, they believed he was struggling financially due to his lifestyle choices.
What would have happened if he would have listened to their opinion and the narrative they tried to create about him based on their observations? They had no idea he was saving boatloads of his income and could probably afford to pay for a car in cash at that time but chose not to because that didn’t align with his values and wouldn’t make him truly happy. If he would have let the opinion of others affect him and the path he was on, he probably wouldn’t be enjoying financial freedom today.
Where do you draw the line when it comes to caring about other people’s opinions on your life and choices? Have you ever found yourself trying to prove your financial status to others and what made you stop?
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Lindsay VanSomeren says
Preach it! I’ve never cared one hoot what people think of my clothing choices. That’s probably why I’m about the only person who shows up to FinCon in a falling-apart hoody. In other news, people on the street have actually thought I was a homeless person due to my patched-up jacket and handknitted fingerless gloves.
Sometimes it can go too far. I’ve actually worn down shoes to the heels. My husband (bless his heart even though I’m usually mad at the time) throws out my worn-out clothes when they get too far gone. About the only thing I won’t do is wear clothes that expose my lady bits, but everything else is fair game. 🙂
Choncé says
Haha, same here as long as it’s appropriate and I really like the clothing, I’ll still wear it from time to time and see nothing wrong with it. I love how you’re so comfortable with being yourself and feel more people should live that way.
lifeandabudgetblog says
This is so true. If we all focused on whats important to us, we would be much more fulfilled. I know people look at me crazy because I essentially wear black leggings and a black tshirt every day. Its pretty much due to the fact that Im lazy amd hate shoppong so I buy multiples of the same thing, but it works for me because its less choices and cheaper. I keep a few different things like jeans or a colorful top but I prefer my leggings (with the holes) so I totally feel you.
Choncé says
Well said! And I’m right there with you on the leggings and t-shirt wardrobe 🙂 I put more time and energy into other things these days but to each is own. It’s all about your own priorities and owning what you want to do.
Jason @ TheButlerJournal.com says
People are always worried about the wrong thing. They should just mind their business. I also have some clothes that have some holes in them. In due time, I’ll replace them. In the meantime, I will continue to pay this debt off.
Choncé says
Couldn’t have said it better 🙂
helloboldnotions says
YES! The person’s whose opinion we should be concerned with most is our own.
Choncé says
Exactly!
Alexis says
I can totally relate to this. I remember being in high school and my mom dressing me in clothes that were more on the frugal side, and people would laugh at me to my face ALL THE TIME. They would laugh at my clothes, and eventually I figured out that I was wearing clothes that were so different from the others. It’s sad that people can have such an influence on our purchases because after high school, I started making money and paying for way too many clothes that I didn’t need.
Choncé says
That’s horrible that people would act like that but kids and teens can be just as rude as adults, unfortunately.
Liz P. says
I find it funny when people comment on clothes and holes in them, especially since it is still “fashionable.” I care so little about what people think when it comes to those kinds of things. I admit, I am probably a “people of Wal-Mart” meme somewhere on the internet!
I’m glad you’ve set your sights higher than worrying about the stupid things people say. Who cares what they think!
Choncé says
“a Walmart meme” 🙂 once you reach that status you’re pretty much famous in my book.
DC @ Young Adult Money says
It’s really terrible how people will tear others down or make “less” of them based on virtually anything. As if what your clothes looks like have any bearing on your financial situation!
Choncé says
My sentiments exactly. But I feel like people do this ALL the time and it was important to point out that it’s not okay and it’s best to just keep staying true to yourself and your goals.
Kayla says
I really liked this article because it is a good example of how we should all live without fear of what others think about us. Staying true to yourself and your goals, financial or otherwise, isn’t always easy when you are under the scrutiny of others. However, it is rewarding when you know you are meeting those goals and helping others along the way. Great article!
Choncé says
Exactly, it’s very rewarding 🙂 Thanks Kayla!